A Thousand Words

Boo. It’s only right that I blog about something relating to Halloween today. Now, I’m not going to any parties or church harvest parties, so clearly I will not be dressing up. I highly doubt that any little kids will even stop by our door tonight. I mean, we have no porch light (too lazy to buy a light bulb) and our front “yard” is overgrown with weeds and thorns. Ghetto, I know.

We don’t even have any candy. If we did, it’d be gone cause I would have eaten it all, like 3 days ago, at least. That happened last year.

So, as I was trying to help Heids come up with a work appropriate costume, I realized I really sucked at it. Then, I was thinking back to the days o’ youth and the costumes I sported. They kind of sucked as well. I managed to come across a few pictures that showcase the vast array of costumes I donned. Let’s just talk about how cute I was.

Wasn’t I the cutest Little Red Riding hood EVER? See that table behind me? Yeah, I pushed my sister into it face first and she had to wear a patch over her eye for a while. Good times.

My mom made me dress up as a Grandma. She put baby powder in my hair and made me stuff my shirt to give me a nice bossom. I looked authentically elderly. I even won that bag in a contest. I hated that costume.

I was a punk rocker, who wore a GUESS t-shirt. And, I’m giving a thumbs up to the camera. I am a geek. (Ten bucks says Homedog will mention how Damon’s dog jumped on her and ripped her princess dress.)

One thing I am very sad about missing this year is the Mexican fiesta my mom always sets up. Homedog mentioned it in her blog today. I think she’s trying to make me jealous. It’s working.

Every so often I can count on something totally random happening via the Internet. I love those times.

Today I got an email from some random PhD student at the UW. He sent me a long rambling email (with pictures) after he came across my Yahoo Messenger profile. Anyway, I don’t really know what the point of his email was – until he sent me a follow up email with the subject line: Motive.

“I want to learn how to knit from someone. I guess everything else, including the pictures I sent, were pointless if it wasn’t for the fact that you might want something back. I have a large knowledge of rock, post-rock, and electronic musics, if that matters. Also, maybe we can play speed Scrabble sometime at Denny’s.“

Electronic musics…speed Scrabble….WHAT?! Hahahaha…

I must say that no random email could EVER top the one I got from some 40+ year-old who wrote as if we were in the medieval times, called me his “fair maiden” and asked me if I’d like to go to the local hot tub place some time. MAN…I wish I would have saved that email.

Long live the WWW.

Dear Faithful Blog Readers,

I would like to inform you that the holidays are upon us. I, for one, absolutely adore the holiday season. Well, actually I really just love Christmas in particular. It has long been my favorite time of year. My mom always had the house decorated so cute and we had the best looking Christmas tree in the whole entire world. And, it was a real one – none of that fake crap. She made us our own stockings and hung them above the mantel with care and filled them to the brim with candy goodness and little trinkets.

Before we could open presents we’d sit there as a family and read Luke 2, while we ate homemade banana bread. We always had the best time as a family seeing the shock, excitement and mild disapointment (shoe racks) gifts could bring. And, really the presents are fine and all, but I really love just being with my family during this time. I can always count on it as being the best trip I take during the year. And, for dramatic effect – for the past 4 years I have been alone on Thanksgiving and going home for Christmas means the WORLD to me.

So, here’s my point. I was browsing for airline tickets this morning and I almost had a coronary when I saw they are going to cost about $400. Shells Munk can not afford this. So, this is where you come in. If you love me…or, can tolerate me even a little bit…send me money, or objects I can pawn to buy this plane ticket. If you help a sista out – I will bake you a holiday pie or knit you a washcloth.

Lets face it folks, I think we’d all be a little disappointed if I had to start a second job at the Lusty Lady…or hang out on the street corner a few nights a week. Think it over. Bring joy to this girls face this holiday season.

Happy Holiday wishes to you all,

Shells M.

*EDIT: for those of you who aren’t sure – I’m joking. I’m not really trying to solicit money. But, I mean…if you’re in the giving mood – that’s a whole other story.

If you couldn’t tell, I was having a bit of an off day at the office yesterday. I’m okay now. It’s all quiet on the Western front.

Speaking of The Office. Does anyone watch that show? So. Freaking. Hilarious. I loved that Jim was a hole-punched version of himself for Halloween. The show is so hysterically innapropriate. I love it.

In other news, my sister (my co-pilot on this magic carpet ride) has began a blog. She’s the hot one in the family…but, I got the good hair. Anyway, I invite you to go check it out. She didn’t say I could invite you, but I’m the big sister – I can do whatever I want.

That is all. I have to get back to assembling hard hats now.

I’d have to classify this weekend as perfect.

I’m still trying to decide which of the following was actually the best part, though. It was either when….

Or…

Boo that tomorrow is Monday.

I never thought there would be a work week that could rival the week last year, when I had to do Jaywalk Patrol (see left) on campus. For the record Heids, I haven’t forgotten when you and your co-workers walked by, while I was on duty, and began taunting laughing at me. Anyway, boy was I wrong. This week has been an absurdly crazy and hectic week, and it’s only Hump Day. I’ll spare you all the gory details, because quite frankly everything pales in comparison to what happened to me this afternoon.

I was sitting at my desk about to open the mail, when I realized I had forgotten to grab the letter opener. I got up to get it from the drawer in the supply room, and as I was walking back to my desk, I heard a thud. (I guess I should mention there is a fire extinguisher hanging on the wall next to the drawer.) Next thing I know, I’m standing in a plume of fire extinguisher dust and was literally covered head to toe in soot, like the Mt. Everest of fire extinguishers had just erupted all over me. I stood there, in a momentary state of shock thinking, “what the CRAP just happened” and pondered if this was a time that merited a stop, drop and roll. My coworkers all began to rise above their cubicles to see what the fuss was about, and promptly started laughing and pointing…while I was gasping for air. I made my way out of the cloud of non-toxic particles and stumbled towards my desk – grasping for anything I could, to get the stuff out of my mouth. After a few moments, I eventually made it to the bathroom and took a good, hard look in the mirror. It looked like I had been working in a freaking coal mine. Priceless.

Once I gracefully composed myself, I headed back to my desk to finish opening the mail. Everyone was still laughing and re-enacting the scene, and one of my lovely co-workers piped up and said she saw it all happen, and it was like some sort of slow motion scene. She said she was going to come to my rescue, but she couldn’t because it was way too hilarious and was too busy laughing. GREAT.

I haven’t really been able to take a full breath, or see clearly since the incident…but, I’m sure it’ll all work out in the end.

I’m sure most of you would agree with me when I say, being sick generally sucks. Luckily, I get sick maybe once a year, so I don’t have a lot to complain about. Well, Friday afternoon I was in the height of my misery and decided to head home early from work, make a stop at the video store, and console myself in a mushy romantic comedy. As I perused the aisles, my eyes came upon Season 1 of LOST. I looked at it skeptically and wondered what all the fuss was about. I decided to cave into peer pressure and rented discs 1 and 2. Well…

• 2 days
• 1 sleepless night
• 3 video stores
• $23 in rental fees
• 7 disks
• 2 file transfers
• 26 episodes
• 1,113 minutes
• 62,342 seconds (haha, sike!) of my life later…

I am HOOKED. Let me tell you people, all of this fuss is about something great. This show is like none other. It’s like a mystery wrapped in a mystery. I’m so eloquent, right? Between screaming “OH MY GOSH” and “NO WAY!!!” – I was huddled under my blanket wimpering like a child. That show creeps me the heck out, and I LOVE it. There are so many little details that are intertwined in the plot and so many questions left unanswered, it only makes me yearn for more. I simply can not wait until Wednesday night when I can get my fix.

So, until then, if you’ll excuse me, I have some message boards to attend to.