A Thousand Words

I’m pretty sure everyone knows how I feel about Office holiday parties, right? Remember my enthusiasm last year?

Way back in late October I got an invite to our Holiday party. Dread immediately set in. Not because I hate my co-workers, but because I just do not generally like this kind of thing. And, I don’t work for a large enough company where my absense would go unnoticed. I spent a couple of days weighing my options. Should I fake an emergency appendectomy? Do I bring some poor sap I barely know? Do I bring an actual friend? Or, dear God, do I go by myself? A few days later, the party got cancelled and postponed until the Chinese New Year, whenever that may be. Crisis averted!

I was in pure bliss for about 3 weeks. Then, out of the blue the PARTY IS BACK ON. But, this time it is casual and the real selling point to me was, “you can bring family!!” What family?!!  So, now I am back to weighing my options. I think I’ll just go by myself, because I really don’t want to subject anyone to the weird little group that is my work.

So THEN, last Friday I’m sitting at my desk and I see an email pop up with the subject line, “Holiday Party”. Before I open it I quickly pray that it has once again been cancelled. As I read the email I am astounded. In addition the holiday party that is on the 15th, we will be having a holiday boat Cruise on the 18th. What. The. Hell. First we had one. Then it was cancelled. Now we have TWO.  Everyone remember this episode of the Office? Yeah. I take this to mean that we will be departing our dock at around 10am on Monday and won’t return until we are all good and drunk around 4:30.  *sigh*